Tuesday means Invader Zim
by Invader Nav
Summary: Late one Tuesday night, Nny gets abducted by Zim. But what happens when the tables turn and both Zim AND Dib end up at Nny's house for some "intense fun"? My first fanfic, so be nice. Rated for Nny's language.
1. Abducted

**THIS IS MY FIRST FANFICT, SO IF IT SUCKS, DON'T FLAME ME! FLAMES WILL BE SHUNNED! Wait, I can use flames to roast marshmallows! Mmmm, marshmallows... Anyway, I got the idea for this from the JTHM quote "Well, I'd better be going. It's Tuesday, and ya know what **_**that **_**means-UFOS! RUUUN! I HOPE YOU ENJOY! not sure how to categorize this...**

Tuesday means Invader ZIM

Nny was walking down an alley, reveling in his newest kill. Some man had tried to jump him. Boy weren't they surprised! Nny chuckled to himself. "It's so entertaining when they try to apologize. Of course, if they had really meant the empty words they said, they wouldn't have made the mistake in the first place." He smiled. "Holes..." Suddenly, he heard a giggle.

Johnny turned around, looking for the source. He saw nothing. Eyebrow raised, hand on knife, Nny started walking again. He needed to get home. Not only to paint his wall, or clean his, now, bloody knife. It was Tuesday, and you know what that means- UFOS! It was enjoyable to watch someone else get abducted, but not himself. Again, he heard the giggle. High pitched and giddy, followed by a quick "Shh!" Nny spun around. "Who's there?" His only answer was silence. Nny glared into the darkness, drawing out his knife from his backpack. Another giggle. "Quiet, GIR." The words were said, nice and clear. Nny growled. " I can hear you! Come on out so I can gouge your intestines!" A sudden scurrying sound behind him made Nny turn fast. "I'm not playing around!" he yelled, holding up his knife. Looks like someone wanted to be another coat for his wall.

No more giggling, no more whispering or footsteps. NNY slowly began walking again. He thought he heard a sound, like a pin tapping on asphalt. He shrugged it off as nothing. A moment later, and the urge to look down overwhelmed him. When he did, Nny saw his shadow, tall and skinny, being overlapped by someone, or _something_ else's shadow. It appeared to be almost some sort of spider, towering above him. Just as Nny was about to turn to slash away at his pursuers legs, in a sudden flash of light, he found himself on the ground. Eyes wide open, he couldn't even move his body. In that moment, a metallic spider leg moved in front of his view.

In seconds, some sort of creature was looking at him, smiling, showing all of it's zipper line teeth. The creature's magenta eyes flashed excitedly, catching the light of the moon. "I think we have our test subject." it said coolly. Nny felt his eyelids begin to slide shut. No, he would _not_ fall asleep! He would not give this..._thing_!- the satisfaction of capturing him. The creature turned it's head away, looking to it's left. "GIR, go pick up the voot cruiser." it said. Nny's eyes were half closed by now. Whatever this thing had shot him with was beginning to take complete effect. "Must...stay...awake..." A robot head with big, turquoise eyes suddenly blocked Nny's vision of his attacker. "Awww, the scary man's sleepy." it said. This robot was the last thing Nny saw and heard before slipping into unconsciousness.

.

.

.

When Nny opened his eyes, he was in some sort of lab. When he tried to move, he found that he couldn't. He then realized that he was strapped to a metal table, which chilled him to the bone. Turning his head, he noticed that his backpack, the one that held all of his weapons, was on another table. Try all he could, he couldn't break free of his restraints.

"Oh, i see our filthy human test subject is awake." Johnny recognized the voice to be his alien abductor's. Just as he realized this, the alien came into his line of vision. Now that it was in the light, Nny could see it much more clearly. About 3 and a half feet tall, green skin, oval magenta eyes, with two long black antanae sticking up from it's head. Again the alien smiled it's zipper-line smile. It put it's hands on it's waist, revealing it had only 3 fingers. "Feel honored_ human_, it is truly an honor to undergo my experiments.", it said. "WHERE THE HELL AM I?', Nny screamed. The alien raised an antanae. "You are in my secret base, filthy human.", it said. Nny glared "Who are you?" The alien smiled. "I am the almighty ZIM! A superior life form from the planet Irk! Sent to this pitiful ball of spinning dirt to concur it for my Tallest! Impressive, yes." Johnny gave the alien a bored look. "Not really." Zim glared daggers at the human. "Stupid human, your tiny brain of stupidity is too dumb to realize Zim's greatness."

Johnny ignored this. "Do you have any idea who I am?", he asked. Zim scoffed. "Zim has no need to fill his great mind or PAK with the names of filthy humans.", he said. Nny smiled. This sent a chill down the alien's back. His antanae flattened fearfully and his squeedily splooch twisted into a not. "My name's Johnny. But, seeing as I'm at your base and you didn't even bother to learn my name before abducting me, I will allow you to call me "Nny" for short.", the homicidal maniac said. Zim swallowed slightly. This human made him feel uncomfortable. But an Invader doesn't show weakness!

"Very well Nny-human. Zim shall call you by your filthy name.", Zim said, puffing out his chest. Nny, meanwhile, was fantasizing about how to kill the alien once he was free. 'I wonder if the wall will accept _alien _blood' he thought. Zim stepped up to the table Nny was on. "Well filthy Nny-human, prepare to undergo some horrible tests of pain and doom.", the alien said. The table reached the alien's chest, perfect for experimenting on.

Nny looked up at the little green man. "You do realize that I will hideously mutilate your little alien ass once I free myself, which I _will_ manage to do because of all the useless shit in the garbage dump that is your mind, you forgot to realize I am a homicidal maniac who kills jerks and ass holes like you every day, which you would have noticed if you'd actually taken a moment to look at me, to see the blood splattered on me from my most recent kill, but I guess people like you, alien or human, don't take the time to actually look at people like me, and you just assume I'll let you insult me or degrade me in public, and I'll just walk on. But no, what you don't realize is that long after your taunts or, in this case, "experiments", are over with, I can still hear your grating voice, your hideous laughter, and see your twisted smile" Zim's mouth fell open. Had this human just really said that to him... Nny studied the shocked alien for a moment before saying something else. "You're short."

_That_ set the alien off. "I AM NOT SHORT!", he screeched, stomping his foot angrily, balling his 3 fingers into a fist. "I AM NOT SHORT!" Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Your temper is short, too." Zim made a growling sound, antanae quivering with fury. "GIR!", he yelled suddenly. At that moment, a big turquise eyed robot bounded up to Zim. "Yeeeeeees?", it asked, drawing out the word. "GIR", said the alien," I need you to-" "OOOoooOOOhhh!", the robot said, ignoring his master as he had the tendancy to do, and stared at Nny with great interest. "The scary man's awake!", it squealed. Nny winced at just how high-pitched the robot's voice got. A voice like that could get very annoying, very fast. Zim glared.

"GIR, pay attention.", he said. The robot's blue eyes suddenly changed to a dangerous red, along with every other part of him that was blue. He straightened up quickly and saluted his master. "Yes, sir.", it said, it's voice noticeably deeper. "I need you to fetch me the devices I require when I call for them, understand.", the alien told his robotic slave. Almost instantly after being given the order, the robot changed back to blue. "OKAY!", it screeched, causing Nny to wince again. The robot quickly went over to the tool table, giggling uncontrollably.

"Call me short. _Me_, the almighty and all powerful ZIM!", cried the alien. Four thin, spider-like legs came out of the thing on the alien's back, making him tower over Nny. Johnny realized that the spider legs are what caused the illusion like shadow he had seen in the alley.

Zim was now hovering over Nny, two spider legs on either side of the table. "I'll show _you_ who's short.", he mumbled. Nny glared at the alien above him. "Shit on you. Too blind to see what's right in front of you, too stubborn to accept the truth. You lie to yourself, creating the illusion that you're so much better than you are. Making others feel like shit just to make yourself seem stronger. You don't care who's feelings you hurt, or who's dreams you crush. Just as long as you come out on top." Zim's magenta eyes widened. He'd never heard a human talk like that before. He shook his head, as though he were attempting to shake the human's words from his mind. "You know nothing of Zim's greatness.", he said to the human. Nny smirked.

"Too egotistical to want to accept anything that could be something other than what you want to hear. Fuck you." Zim glared. He wasn't sure what those last two words meant, but he didn't like them. "GIR", he said, his gaze never leaving the human's face as he held out his hand," give me the extraction device." He would use this to remove the human's brain, then see how it worked. For this particular earthanoid... he was different... "Ookie Dokie!", the robot cried. A shuffle of metal could be heard. Johnny couldn't see what the robot was doing. After a few moments, Zim's antanae twitched with irritation. He finally looked away from the human and over to his right.

"GIR, what is taking so long?" "GOT IT!", the robot squealed. Zim sighed. "That's not the extraction device, GIR. I need you to find-", his voice faltered and his magenta eyes widened in horror. "NO, GIR, NO! DON'T-" Whatever the alien was going to say quickly turned into a shriek. Just as he began to move out of the way, a hammer flew through the air, right into the side of his head, knocking him off balance and sending him tumbling to the left side of the table, letting out a sharp "yelp" when the hammer connected. Nny had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. A very ticked off looking Zim stood up, his spider legs retracted.

"WHY DID YOU THROW A HAMMER AT ME?", he screeched, hands balled into fists, claws digging into his palms through his gloves. "Cause you asked me to!", GIR called back happily, oblivious to the anger in Zim's voice. The alien rubbed his temples, like he'd done so many times before. "One, I did not ask for a _hammer_, GIR. And two, I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO THROW IT AT ME!" GIR's antanae fell backwards sadly. "Is master upset with me?", he asked with tear filled eyes. "Yes, GIR, master is _very_ upset with you right now.", Zim responded. Definetley not a good choice of words.

GIR then proceeded to scream at the tops of his robotic lungs. Despite his base being soundproof, Zim was sure the neighborhood could hear GIR's wails. Hell, the _Tallest_ could probably hear! Zim's antanae flattened against his head in agony. "MAKE IT STOP!", Nny screamed. This robot's screaming was a worse torture then anything he could do. And what made it even worse, he couldn't cover his ears. Zim yanked on his antanae. "GIR, STOP SCREAMING!" The alien's plea couldn't even be heard over the robot's wails. Glass began to shatter, cracks appeared on the transmission screen. Johnny was pretty sure his ears were bleeding.

"GIR!", Zim cried, but to no avail. Suddenly, the Irken go an idea. "HEY GIR, I HAVE A TACO!" The screaming ended abruptly and the robot smiled. "TACO!", it cried happily before using it's rockets to launch itself at Zim, who cried out in pain when GIR collided with him. Nny stared wide-eyed at the mess of wires that served as a ceiling. His ears were going to ring for _weeks_! "What the hell was that?", he yelled. Zim got unsteadily to his feet and walked over to the bound homicidal maniac. Not his usual stiff-legged march. "Note to self, don't upset GIR.", the alien mumbled to himself.

In his hand was the extraction device. The same one he'd used on his fellow klass mates to steal their organs. He had, of course, returned their organs. Zim didn't want to permanently impurity his superior body with something from a lesser race! Again, Zim activated the spider legs, and again loomed of Nny. "What the hell are you going to do with that?", Johnny asked. He wasn't worried, this alien was obviously _very_ stupid, and would most likely end up using the device on himself. Zim smirked. "I'm going to extract your brain and see how it works.", he said nonchalantly."It seems to think differently than most other human's brains." Nny raised an eyebrow.

"Interesting. The possible reason for my "unique" way of thinking is that my mind is fucked up differently than all the other goblins." Zim's antanae twitched. "Goblins... I thought they were humans." Johnny smirked. "Human in appearance, yes, but in mind they are wicked creatures who constantly degrade themselves with the ever-lasting mistreatment of their _own_ kind. The real humans are harder to find." Zim stared at the human in awe. "Fascinating. ", he whispered. The alien smiled it's zipper-line smile. "Looking through your vast knowledge of the humans after this is over with will be most interesting.", it said. Zim then placed the extractor over Nny's head.

Johnny glared daggers at the alien above him. 'Let's see how long you maintain your sanity while looking through my mind' he thought. Where fear was supposed to be, Nny only felt annoyance. The extractor began to whir and flash. In a moment, Nny would cease to be. The figment that he was would be gone, probably dissected by this alien. Nny closed his eyes. "You just try it..."

**So what do you think? Remember, this is my first fanfic, so if it sucks, I'm sorry. I am already working on chappy two, so it should be up soon. This story will be divided into three chappys. PLEASE REVIEW, REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! I give all those who review a cookie! ... Metaphorically, of course.**


	2. An Unwanted visitor

**SORRRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. First, my computer stopped working, then my computer deleted the file, then I couldn't get on the computer, THEN THE COMPUTER DELETED IT AGAIN! But you probably just want me to get on with the story. PLEASE REVIEW, REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! NO FLAMES, OR MY CANNIBALISTIC MOOSE WILL SIT ON YOU! His name is Muffins!**

An unwanted visitor

The whirring grew louder, and just as it was about to fulfill its purpose, a new voice rang out. "There's someone at the door." The whirring stopped. Nny opened his eyes to see an annoyed and agitated Zim glaring off to his right.

"What do you mean there's someone at the door?", he asked, obviously irritated at having been interrupted _again_. A voice, seemingly from no where, answered with more than a hint of annoyance in its tone", It means there is a human who just knocked on your door and is now waiting impatiently for you to open it, Zim."

Zim's antanae twitched in obvious annoyance. "I knew that! But why did you have to tell me? Just send the roboparents to answer it. That's all they're good for."

Nny could almost see the computer rolling nonexistent eyes. "Remember the last time they answered the door?", it asked. "You ended up dancing in front of all those humans and prying a kid out of their mouths."

The alien shuddered at the memory. "Perhaps _I_ should answer the door, instead.", he said, lowering himself onto the floor, retracting his PAK legs.

"Yeah, you do that.", the computer said, before going back into its neutral state.

Two robotic arms came out of Zim's PAK, depositing a cheap looking wig and lavender contacts in his three fingered hands. "GIR, watch the Nny-human, make sure he doesn't attempt to escape.", the alien said after applying his contacts. He then made his way over to the elevator that would deposit him into the house level of his secret base.

Nny was now left all alone with GIR...

"Oh dear God", he mummbled when the robot smiled at him.

"HI!", it cried, as though seeing Nny for the first time.

Johnny groaned. "Please go away.", he begged.

Instead, GIR suddenly rocketed straight into the air. Nny raised an eyebrow when the robot didn't come back down. "Huh, guess he _did_ leave.", he said.

No sooner had the words come out of his mouth did the insane, evil minion come falling back down, and right onto Nny's stomach no less. Nny let out a yell when the robot landed. Johnny grimaced at the pain, giving the robot the "evil eye", wishing very much to be able to hack it to pieces.

GIR only giggled and hopped up and down on Nny's middle. "I'm gonna play with you!", he shreiked, sticking out his tongue as he did so.

"I don't want to play.", Nny growled, immediately regretting his words when the robot began to tear up again. He didn't want it wailing again. GOD, no! "Uh, what kind of game?", he asked quickly.

The robot smiled, showing no signs of the fact it had almost cried. "I'm gonna bring my friends!", it yelled before jumping down to the floor, falling flat on its face, and running out of sight.

As much as he hated to admit it, Nny _was_ curious ast to where the robot was going.

Moments later, GIR was back with a rubber pig in his arms. "This is piggy!", he exclaimed before placing the piggy squarely on Nny's chest, before running off again.

Johnny gave the rubber piggy a bored look, staring at its unblinking eyes.

"This is Minimoose!", the robot yelled right into Nny's ear. The homicidal maniac let out yell. His ears still hurt.

GIR put an unhappily squeaking moose onto Nny. Johnny looked at the thing with mild interest. When GIR ran away, to God-knows-where, Minimoose lazily floated up to the ceiling, causing Nny to raise an eyebrow at it. 'That's strange...'

The robot's rapid footsteps were heard before it appeared itself. "This is waffle!", GIR said before putting a waffle on Nny.

Nny groaned. Something told him that GIR had a _lot_ of "friends".

...

After mere minutes, GIR had successfully filled every inch of Nny's body with some sort of "friend". The robot had started bringing in random items and giving them names, like "Mike the toaster", or "Katy the remote".

"This is Charlie!", GIR yelled, placing a blender on Nny's left leg.

Johnny's eye twitched.

Suddenly, shouts of anger were heard from above. Nny could hear rapid footsteps, and couldn't help but wonder what shit Zim had started now.

A moment later, a large-headed boy with glasses and hair in the shape of a scythe stumbled out of the elevator. "Clogging up the toilet with all that waffle batter should slow Zim down a bit.", the boy said to himself. In that instant, the amber-eyed boy saw Nny. "OH NO, what did Zim _do_ to you?", he asked incredously.

"Left me alone with _that_.", Nny replied gesturing, best he could with his arms and legs bound, to the giggling robot.

GIR now came in holding a squirrel. He immediately dropped it the moment he spotted the child. "BIG-HEADED BOY!", he cried excitedly. The terrified squirrel quickly scampered away from the insane, defective robot.

"Hey GIR, and my head's not big!", the boy said.

The robot only giggled before running off to find the squirrel.

The raven-haired boy quickly ran over to the table Nny was on. "Don't worry, I'll get you out of here.", he said, getting to work on the restraints. "And once you're free, you can help me expose Zim! The Swollen Eyeball's gotta believe me if I have someone else with me."

Nny smirked. "The only thing I want to "expose" about that alien are his insides."

The boy shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm the one who's performing the autopsy." The arm restraints came loose.

Nny sat up, rubbing his wrists, He raised an eyebrow at the boy. "I think you misinterpreted what I said."

The scythe-haired boy gave Johnny a slightly confused look before just shrugging it off. "Who are you? I don't think I've seen you before.", he asked, hands fumbling with the leg restraints.

Nny looked the boy over. No, he hadn't seen this boy before. He wasn't one of the ass-holes who would make fun of him then claim they'd never met him before once he had them in his house. No, this boy wasn't part of the creation of his homicidal tendencies, and he'd done nothing to deserve the product of death. "Johnny C.," he said after a moment, " but you can call me "Nny" for short. And who might you be?"

"Dib.", said the scythe-haired boy.

"Dib what?", Johnny asked. The boy _did_ look familiar.

"Dib Membrane.", Dib replied, frustrated with the lock.

Nny nodded. _That's _why he looked familiar, his dad, Professor Membrane, the egotistical ass-hole, was one of the people who pissed him off.

"These aren't coming loose.", Dib said.

Nny looked over to his backpack. "Get me my backpack, and I can free myself."

Dib nodded and ran over to do as instructed. But as soon as the boy had the backpack, a loud crash was heard, followed by maniacally laughter. "ZIM!", Dib cried. He then yelled "CATCH!", before flinging Nny's backpack to him. If flew about 4 feet before ploppin to the ground.

Nny raised an eyebrow at this. "You're weak.", he said.

Dib glared. "It's not my fault, that thing's heavy! What's in it?"

Johnny was about to reply when a beam of light shot through the air, barely missing Dib's head.

"How could I miss your giant head?", an all-too familiar voice asked from the shadows. Zim stepped into the light, holding some sort of smoking ray gun, although it looked more like a super soaker.

Dib spun around dramatically to run, only to get his trench coat snagged on a piece of equipment and be yanked flat on his back. He was left seeing stars and very annoyed.

The alien snickered at the boy's bad luck. "Nice try, Dib-stink! You honestly thought you could escape the awesome wrath of ZIM!"

Dib looked up at Zim, who was now standing over him, looking down at him with glee filled eyes. "You won't get away with this, Zim! I will expose you for the horrible alien that you are and scope your insides out!"

The alien laughed at the boys pathetic threats.

"Oooooohh, what's this?", came a high-pitched voice.

Nny looked down, startled to see GIR sitting next to his backpack. And he was holding a knife. "HEY, put that back! I don't trust you with that!", Nny yelled at the robot.

It only giggled. The defective robot then began to walk over to Nny, knife still in hand.

"You stay away from me!", Johnny cried, pointing a slender finger at GIR.

Once again, he only giggled. GIR was now standing in front of Nny and the table his legs were still strapped to. Johnny was unable to reach the robot to snatch the knife away.

Tongue sticking out happily, GIR held the knife high, and brought it down fast. A ripping sound followed.

Nny expected some sort of pain, to feel his blood soak his pants leg where he was sure the defective robot had plunged the knife. He did _not_, however, expect for the pressure on his legs to dissappear. Looking down, he was amazed to see the restraints were cut in half. The ripping sound hadn't been his leg, it had been the belt holding his legs down. He was free. Hopping off the table, Nny looked at the smiling robot. "Maybe you're not so bad afterall.", he told it.

The robot wiped a tear away. "I love you!", it said before hugging Nny's leg.

"Let go!", Johnny yelled down at GIR, shaking his leg until the robot fell off.

Giggling like mad, GIR ran off to some other part of the house.

The homicidal maniac shook his head. He then noticed Zim, still arguing with Dib. They were both standing now, glaring at each other and shouting idol threats back and forth. Without taking his malice filled eyes off of the alien, Nny yanked his knife out of the table.

"You honestly thought you could get away from Zim? Pathetic _hyooman_!", Zim hissed, pointing one of his gloved fingers at Dib's face.

The boy smirked. "I did get away from you for a little while. Cause you were stupid enough to believe me when I said your couch was on fire!"

The alien scowled. "Zim only turned around to give you a chance. He didn't actually belive such a filthy lie!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh really, is that why you said "GIR, get your flamethrower away from the couch!"

Zim opened his mouth to most likely scream "YOU LIE!", but before he could, something flew past Dib's head and into the light-pink shoulder guard of Zim's uniform. The alien let out a shrill scream as he flew backwards, the knife lodging itself into the wall, with Zim stil attached. Dib's eyes widened in suprise.

"What? Where did that-" He stopped when he heard a sound behind him. Turning, he saw Nny rummaging through his backback. "Nny! You escaped!" Dib paused for a moment. "Did you just throw a knife at Zim?"

Johnny only smiled.

Meanwhile, Zim was trying to pull the knife out of his shoulder guard. It was a good thing his shoulders were so scrawny, or else the knife would have gone right through it. The alien growled as he yanked the knife as hard as he could. He cursed in Irken. "I will _destroy_ you once I'm free! You hear me, Nny-human, DESTROY!"

Dib allowed himself to smile. "Yeah right, Zim! Once Nny and I bring you to the authorities, you'll-" The words died in his throat when he saw Johnny pull a very large butcher knife out of his backpack. "Uh, Nny... what are you doing with that?'

Nny didn't answer, but started walking over to the trapped alien.

Dib's face visibly paled when he realized what Nny was planning on doing. "WAIT!", he cried, running in front of the homicidal maniac," you can't kill him! we need to bring him to the authorities and-" Dib let out a yelp when Nny grabbed him by his scythe hair and pulled him to eye level.

"Look, Dib, I'm gonna let you off easy since you're a kid and you look like someone I know named Squee. But tell me what to do again, and I'll slit your throat along with your little alien friends."

Dib swallowed. He was terrified. More scared then he'd ever been in his 12 year old life! But he needed Zim alive if the authorities were going to believe him. "C-could you p-please put me down?", he stuttered.

Johnny let go of Dib's hair, causing Dib to fall and stumble backwards. He looked up with wide, amber eyes.

Nny started walking towards Zim again.

The alien took a moment to stop trying to pry the knife out of his shoulder, and look at the shiny object in the in the human's hand. Zim's face tuned a paler shade of green when he saw it was what human's called a "butcher knife". He'd seen enough horror movies with GIR to guess what was going to happen next. He screamed. "YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU GET YOUR SHARP TOOL OF PAIN AWAY FROM ZIM!" He tried to activate the lasers in his PAK, but his back was jammed up against the wall, not allowing it to open. "DIB-FILTH, PROTECT YOUR FUTURE SLAVE MASTER!"

Dib looked up at Nny, who was still advancing on the terrified alien. He had to try one more time. "Well... don't you at least want to kill Zim somewhere else? I mean, if you kill him here, his security will be after you."

At this, the homicidal maniac stopped. "Security?", he asked," You mean that stupid robot that freed me?", Nny turned to Dib with a smirk on his face. "I don't think I need to worry about that piece of shit."

"GIR's not stupid, he's advanced!", Zim yelled. His Tallest had made GIR themselves!

Nny turned his fury filled gaze back to Zim, who immediately shut up.

"There's other security!", Dib practically yelled.

Nny raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh really. What kind?"

Dib swallowed. "Uh, well, there's..."

Johnny shook his head. "You obviously just want to keep this alien alive so you can expose him for the sole purpose of collecting all the glory and to improve your own image."

Dib's mouth fell open. Uhhh... "That's not true!", he said.

Nny raised an eyebrow. "It isn't?"

"It's to save Earth."

Nny smirked. "I stand corrected." He seemed deep in thought. "However, the wall _is_ in need of a fresh coat, which your little alien friend took from me. It would be a good idea to head home and paint it." He turned toward Zim, his butcher knife pointed to where the alien's heart would be if it were human. "Where did you put the blood?"

Zim glared daggers at the homicidal human. If looks could kill, Nny would be dead and decaying by now. How _dare_ he make the almighty Zim feel this way! So scared and helpless. No human had the right! Still, despite how stubborn he could be, Zim knew he was in no position to deny the question. "Over there.", he growled, pointing to a corner.

Johnny looked over and, sure enough, there was his bucket of blood. "Good.", he said, nodding as he put his knife back in his backpack.

Both Zim and Dib let out a sigh of relief. "Wow," said Dib," for a second there, I thought-" He was cut off by a buzzing sound, followed by Zim's scream. Dib watched, dumbfounded and horrified, as Zim's entire body went limp. "Wh-what did you do?", he stuttered as Nny yanked the knife out of the alien's shoulder guard, causing Zim to crumple to the floor in an unconscious heap.

"I tazed him.", Nny said nonchalantly, holding up a tazer as he turned to Dib.

The scythe-haired boy blinked. "Tazed him..."

"Yes, tazed him. Your friend should be grateful I forgot to completely recharge my tazer after killing that one ass-hole at Cafe Le Prick. I'm suprised they rebuild that place, what after my last little "venting" session there. But I digress."

Dib's mouth fell open in shock. A few months ago, someone had murdered everyone at the downtown Cafe Le Prick, then blown it up. Dib was now staring at that "someone".

"Now, do you mind getting me my bucked of blood?", Nny asked.

Dib blinked. "Okay.", he said nervously, turning to go get it. "And after you get Zim to your house, you can help me turn him into the authorities before you kill him." Had Dib turned around, he would have seen Nny scowl and his body tense. He would have also seen him pull the tazer back out of his backpack. But by the time the young paranormal investigator got the premonition something bad was going to happen, it was too late.

Nny jabbed the tazer into the back of Dib's neck, the electricity arching into him just before the barbs did.

Dib let out a scream of surprise and pain before falling to the floor. "Good help is so hard to find.", Johnny said as he keeled down to look at Dib.

In his last moments of consciousness, Dib managed to look up into Nny's cold, blue eyes.

"I told you not to tell me what to do.", Nny said.

These where the last words Dib heard before darkness claimed him.

**MAN, that took WAY longer than it needed to post! But, if you look back up at my author's note, you'll see why this took so freaking long. If there are a few spelling errors, forgive me. I finished typing this at 12:48 at night. God, I'm tired. Having insomnia is not fun. I'm hungry, I need chocolate...REVIEW!**


	3. The voice of reason

**YES, FINALLY, I HAVE FINISHED MY FIRST EVER FANFIC! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and patience with my constant screwing up of posting chappys! I GIVE ALL THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED A COOKIE AND A HUG! I especially liked writing this chappy because I got to create more of a personality for the minor JTHM character, Reverand Meat. He is the newest voice in Johnny's head at the end of the seventh comic. You don't really know much about the guy, and his name isn't even said in the comic, it's said in the director's cut. So it was fun writing for him. NOW, ON WITH THE STORY! Oh, in case you couldn't tell from the last chappy, I don't like Professor Membrane. :)**

The voice of reason

'Nngn'

The first thought that went through Dib's mind when he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he had no clue where he was. It took him a moment to realize he was bound; cables looped over both arms, lifting him a good 3 feet off the floor. His hands were tied, where as his feet weren't.

"Why is my head so foggy?", he asked aloud.

"The after effects of being tazed.", came a reply from the shadows.

The young paranormal investigator's amber eyes shot wide open. "N-Nny? Is that, is that you?", he stuttered.

The homicidal maniac stepped out of the shadows, a wicked smile on his unusually pale face. "So, you actually bothered to remember my name. I guess that means the tazer didn't fry you brain.", Nny said.

"What are you doing, where am I?", Dib asked on the verge of hysteria.

"I plan on teaching your little alien friend some manners. I suggest he prepare himself for some intense fun.", Johnny said.

Dib hadn't even realized Zim was there until Johnny mentioned him. Looking over, Dib saw the alien next to him, bound in a similar way. He was still unconscious.

"As to where you are", Nny said, snapping Dib back to attention," you in just another room in the world. That wall however", Nny gestured to the wall behind him," is a whole nother story."

Dib practically passed out at the sight of the wall. It was red, and it wet. Something told the scythe-haired boy that wasn't paint on the wall. "Is, is that... blood?"

Nny nodded. "Yes, and I just gave it a fresh coat. You see, Dib, I have to keep the wall wet. If not, something pushes at it from the other side. I do not have so great a curiosity as to want to see what that creature is, so I paint it regularly."

Dib swallowed. "And now... now your going to paint it with _our_ blood?"

Johnny seemed to think for a moment. "I'm not even sure if the wall will accept alien blood, though I doubt it's picky. As for _your_ blood, I'm allowing you to live so that you can watch this piece of shit suffer.", he said, pointing at Zim.

The unconscious alien groaned, beginning to wake up.

"You're going to kill him in front of me?", Dib asked, horrified.

Nny shook his head. "No," he said," death is not a privellage I will give him. Admit it, though, you would enjoy seeing you "friend" twitch at the feel of the venom his kind produce in the people they fuck with."

The raven-haired boy swallowed. "Well, yeah. But not this way! If in any way, it would be in a way that would benefit the paranormal; benefit mankind! That way we could study him or something. But the way you're doing in isn't right! It-" Dib drew in a sharp breath as Nny thrust a knife into his face, the tip not even an inch from his nose.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S NOT! You coudn't imagine the things I've seen, the things I've done! The things I've endured! You think you know what's right and what's not. You, an ignorant, little child! Ha! You don't know the fuck of it! Where as I, a tortured grown man, have been at the recieving end of what's "not right" for as long as I can remember. Just a few hours ago, you said you were going to have him on an autopsy table and scope his insides out. And for what? The paranormal? Mankind? And you tell me what I do isn't right? Take a look at yourself. Making an idol threat for something as trivial as "mankind". You defend a society who are constantly mistreating their _own_ kind. You blind thing!"

Dib's mouth fell open. He'd never thought of that... Before he could say anything, Zim groaned.

"Wh-where am I?", the alien asked, lifting up his head. His eyes were full of confusion.

Nny took the knife back from in front of Dib's face, finally allowing the scythe-haired boy to breathe easy. "Ah, so you've finally decided to join us. Good. Now we can start the real fun.", Johnny said.

Zim seemed to finally be aware of the human's presence. And the moment he realized Nny was there, the alien let out a horrifying shriek. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!", he screamed.

The homicidal maniac smirked. "Not so confident now, are we. It's different when _you're_ the one who's about to undergo some hideous torture. Fun, isn't it."

Zim blinked. "LET ME OUT OF HERE! FILTHY HUMAN, YOU DARE KIDNAP YOUR FUTURE SLAVE MASTER! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR HORRIBLE DOOM!", the alien shrieked.

Johnny smiled. Just like before, the human's smile sent a chill up Zim's spine, made his antanae flatten in fear.

"Why is it that you all make so much noise? It's so entertaining." Nny's smile grew. "I usually try to wait until I'm out of the room before I start to laugh. But it's just so funny." He laughed darkly.

This sound would haunt Dib in his dreams for weeks, and give Zim even more reason to stay awake at night, as if the need for sleep unneccisary wasn't enough.

Zim swallowed thickly. "Wh-what if I promise not to destroy your planet. I promise, if you let me go, if you let me live, I won't.", the alien pleaded.

Dib stared at Zim with wide eyes. Zim would give up his mission; his secret, ever so important, given to him directly by his _leaders_ mission, just so this guy would let him go. If Dib didn't know any better, he would have thought Zim was bluffing. But... something in the Irken Invader's eyes told him otherwise. That something was terror. Pure, sheer terror. He wasn't lying...

"Such an amusing fiction.", Johnny said, his back to the two boys. "You think yourself the victim here, but it is your own fault. You took part in creating me, your attacker, thanks to the childish cruelty you failed to cast off back home on your own planet, which, by the looks of how you act, is just as obviously fucked up as this one. And it is in moments like this one, that you don't regret hurting me, you regret doing it to my face."

The Invader's jaw dropped. "I'm serious, if you let me go I-"

"SHUT UP!", Nny screamed, grabbing a lever and yanking it back.

Zim's entire body lit up. The electricity that raced through him was more excruciating than all the times Dib had splashed him with water, or thrown meat at him. This pain was beyond what his senses could handle. The alien let out an inhuman howl, filled with more agony than the Irken thought possible.

"ENOUGH!", Dib yelled. He never thought, in a million years, that he would be defending his arch enemy.

Johnny pushed the lever back, cutting off the electricity. Zim's entire body went limp again. The homicidal maniac smiled at his work.

"I'll be back to do that again in his hour.", Nny said, turning to leave.

"WAIT!", Dib cried.

Nny stopped. "What?"

"You can't do this!", the paranormal investigator yelled.

"I can do whatever the hell I want.", Nny said, glaring at the scythe-haired boy.

"Don't you have a conscious?", Dib asked increadiously.

Johnny thought about it. He supposed Nail Bunny had sort of been a conscious. But he was gone now, along with the doughboys. The only voice left was Reverand Meat.

"I guess I use to.", Nny said slowly. He then smiled evily. "But it's gone now." And with those words, Nny left the terrified child and the unconscious alien alone.

...

"You shouldn't be doing this to them."

Nny glared at the T.V., turning the volume up, trying to block out the voice. As usual, this didn't work.

"Johnny C., what has become of you?", Reverand Meat asked, his always present smile unsettling.

"Just shut up.", Nny growled.

"What will you gain from killing them?", the emotion embodying statue asked.

"That's none of your concern.", Nny snapped.

"You will gain no positive feeling from their deaths.", Reverand Meat continued. "I do want you to feel, for you were born a feeling creature and you can't change that. But the emotion you will end up feeling from killing those children won't be pleasant. And the more often you feel an unpleasant emotion, the more often you try and shed off your emotions. And I don't want that."

"One, I doubt the alien is a "child". And two, you don't know what I'd feel.", Johnny said. "I don't see the point in feelings. Emotions. All they do is get in the way of what's _really_ important." He snickered. "Althought what the modern man finds "really important" is usually very stupid and trivial."

"Feelings are everything! They're what make you smile, what make you cry. They are what make you fall in love, make you calm and content.", the statue said.

"I have no desire for contentment.", Nny said," I've seen what contentment is and it's stupid. Completely overated."

"So, what," said Reverand Meat," you're going to kill the alien? Why?"

The homicidal maniac glared at teh statue, it's unblinking eyes locked with his own. "You know very well why. He abducted me, tried to experiment on me, insulted me! Not only that, but I slept because of him!"

"He's probably just doing what is expected of his species.", Reverand Meat argued.

"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!", Nny yelled.

"And what of the child?", the burger holding statue asked, completely ignoring Johnny. "He has done nothing to you! He tried to _rescue_ you! And yet you hold him captive. Just like you did that other man."

Johnny pressed his hands over his ears, not wanting to hear what Reverand Meat had to say. This did nothing.

"Remember? You told him you were sorry, you told him he seemed like a nice man, and he was! And you _still_ killed him!"

"SHUT UP!", Nny screamed, plunging a knife deep inside the statue. This didn't even faze it.

"And what did you gain of _his_ death, huh? NOTHING! All you did was use his blood to paint the wall. You were a slave."

"I am a slave to nothing, you little meat eating kinda guy. If I want to free Zim and Dib, it'll be because I want to, not because you've guilted me into doing it!", the homicidal maniac yelled.

"Guilt! That is what you felt! You felt guilty for killing Edgar.", Reverand Meat said.

The name was out, no more ignoring it. Johnny looked down at his steel-toed boots. Edgar Vargas, the one person he'd ever felt guilty and upset about killing. The topic hadn't been brought up in almost a year, ever since his death. But it had always been there at the back of Nny's mind, nagging at him.

"You said it yourself," Reverand Meat said slowly," that his death did nothing for you. And now, you are going to kill a child who doesn't know any better and an alien who's obviously delusional. You don't even need their blood! It would be nothing but senseless killing."

Nny yanked the knife out of Reverand Meat, causing the statue to fall to the floor.

"That's what sets you apart from those other moronic killers. When you kill, there is a reason. You express yourself when you kill, venting your feelings, using those who hurt you as a channel for your emotions. By killing those two down in your basement, you would simply be proving all those people who've ever called you crazy or insane right.", the statue finished.

Johnny thought about it for a while, staring at his reflection in his knife. He knew Reverand Meat was right, there was no point in killing Zim and Dib. All he would feel was guilt. He had yet to cast off all of his emotions, and he knew that this would be what he felt. But still...

"If I go down there and let them go, I'll only be a servant to my emotions. It's bad enough I have to obey that fucking wall."

"Don't you see Johnny? Haven't you realized that, no matter how hard you try, you're _always _a slave to something. Whether it be emotions, voices in your head, psychotic doughboys, or wall dwelling blood-demons, you're _always_ a slave to something.", Reverand Meat said, his smile seeming to grow.

Nny glared down at the statue. "I am a slave to nothing! Quit saying that I am! I'm free of all bonds that held me into the servitude of the doughboys. You hear me, FREE!"

"NO SUCH THING AS FREEDOM! NO SUCH THING!", Reverand Meat cried," YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!"

Nny yanked at his hair. Blinded by fury, he grabbed the Bub's Burger Boy and hurled it across the room. "I'M IN CONTROL OF ME, NOT SOME FUCKING EMOTIN! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

The burger-holding statue connected with the wall and exploded into a thousand pieces. Glass scattered everywhere, a few scratching Nny's unprotected face.

Johnny panted heavily, not caring about the blood running down his face. After a moment or so, he finally took a calming breath. Reverand Meat was gone. He was finally gone...

"Thought you could destroy me that easily, did you? How humorous.", a voice said.

The voice was Reverand Meat's. And he was inside Johnny's head now.

Letting out an inhuman yell, Nny, with knife in hand, ran down to the basement.

...

Dib had heard the entire conversation. He couldn't exactly ignore it. Not to mention he couldn't even rest. Then again, why _would_ you want to fall asleep whey you're suspended above the floor in a torture device, when, at any moment, an insane homicidal maniac could come down and shove a knife through your head or electrify you to a crisp? What pleasant thoughts.

When the young paranormal investigator heard the sound of shattering glass, he didn't know what to expect.

And then, silence. Peacful, tranquil silence...

Maybe to someone else, but to Dib, it was unsettling. Before, at least he could hear what Nny and the other person were saying. He could tell what Nny was planning to do. But now, he had no idea what was going through the homicidal maniac's mind.

Without warning, a howl of rage rang through the house, followed by loud stomping.

"Oh God, he's coming down the stairs!", Dib yelled, immediately horrified. "Zim! ZIM, WAKE UP!", the scythe-haired boy cried.

The alien moaned, his antanae twitching ever so slightly.

Dib was amazed all the yelling and shouting hadn't woken him up. It would have certainly woken _him_ up.

"Wha-what happened?", Zim asked groggily.

Dib was about to answer when the basement door flew open, practically knocked off its hinges, and a very pissed off looking Nny marched down the stairs.

The color drained from Dib's face when he saw what was in Nny's hand. A very large kitchen knife.

"STAY AWAY!", Dib cried, trying his best to crawl up the wall, resulting in a jolt of pain to shoot through his shoulder.

Dib's scream seemed to finally snap Zim back to complete consciousness. "AHHHH, IT'S THE NNY-HUMAN!", the alien cried, trying to disappear into the wall.

Dib felt his blood run cold as Nny began to approach _him_, knife glinting in his hand.

"Wha-what are you going to do to us?", the paranormal investigator stuttered, trying his best to ignore the throbbing pain in his shoulder.

Johnny didn't answer, but continued towards the terrified child.

Dib swung his legs out, trying to kick the knife out of Nny's hand. Or at the very least injure him. He wasn't going down without a fight.

Nny scowled at Dib when he tried to kick him, annoyed with his pathetic antics. Pulling his arm back, knife in hand, Johnny slashed the knife at Dib.

Closing his eyes, Dib could only hope that his death was quick and painless. He let out a slight yell when he fell. Stumbling forward, he fell on his hands and knees. The bonds on his wrists had been cut.

The paranormal investigator looked up at Nny in amazement. "Why did you-"

"Go.", Nny said sharply.

"What?", Dib asked. He wasn't sure he'd heard him right.

Johnny glared down at Dib. "You heard me, go. And take your stupid alien friend," Nny gestured to Zim with his knife," with you."

Dib blinked. He couldn't believe it...

"Dookie!", Zim yelled, earning himself a dirty look from both Dib and Nny. "Zim is no friend of the horrid Dib-monkey! And Zim does not appreciate you freeing said Dib-monkey before freeing himse-" The alien was quickly cut off as Nny shoved a knife to its throat, the sharp tip just grazing his chin.

"What was that you were saying?", Johnny asked, eyes narrowed to slits.

"N-nothing.", Zim stuttered.

Nny nodded. "That's what I thought.", he said before slashing at Zim's bonds as well, causing the alien to fall on his face.

"Just because I'm letting you go doesn't mean you'll be so lucky next time.", Johnny growled, pointing his knife at the two. "I'd better not see you guys again, understand?"

Dib and Zim quickly bobbed their heads. They understood.

"Good.", Nny said. "Now get out before I change my mind."

ZIm and Dib didn't need to be told twice. The ran like bats straight out of hell to the stairs. They didn't stop running until they were a good 3 blocks from the homicidal maniac's lair.

Panting heavily, Dib put his hands on his knees to support himself. "We... never speak of this... again. Agreed?", he said between gasps for air.

"Agreed.", Zim said, leaning up against a fence, hand where his heart would have been. "And we can... both agree that... your head is still large."

Dib glared at the alien in front of him. "My head's not- oh forget it.", he sighed as Zim contacted GIR to pick them up.

...

"Now, was that so hard?", Reverand Meat's voice asked from inside Nny's head.

"Just shut up.", Nny said, walking back up the stairs.

"You see, you _are_ a slave to emotions!", Meat's voice said cheerfully.

"You're wrong.", Johnny said. "I didn't do if for you."

"Suuuuure.", Meat's voice said. "Say, you mind glueing my statue back together? Your head is spooky."

Nny smirked. "No, I don't think I will.", he said.

"What? Why not?", Reverand Meat asked.

"Because, I had to deal with your annoying voice all the time. Now you have to deal with my "spooky head"."

"Fine, but don't complain to me when you plop down on the couch and get a piece of glass stuck up your ass."

Nny ignored this as he went to grab his backpack.

"Ooh, we're going out! Where to? Skating rink, dancing?", Reverand Meat asked hopefully.

"Don't be silly.", Nny said as he slipped the backpack onto his scrawny shoulder. "I'm gonna kill a cheerleader."

**YEEEES! I HAVE FINISHED MY VERY FIRST FANFIC EVAH! WHOOO! *does a little dance* What do you all think? Did you like the story? I wanted to end it on a funny note. I honestly couldn't stop giggling at the "glass up your ass" part! Well, I hope all my screw ups updating this story were worth it! If you know someone who is a fan of JTHM and Invader Zim, don't be afraid to tell them about this story. Reviews make me happy! THEY MAKE ME SQUEE! PLEASE REVIEW! I give all those who have reviewed this story and those who will in the future a cookie! THANK YOU, AND I HOPE YOU LIKED MY VERY FIRST FANFIC! BYE!**


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